Thank Goodness for the Flame

Day 5. So far so good, but I'm noticing that it's getting harder to awaken in the morning, and it's getting harder to not fall asleep as I pray with Will at night. Yet, I persevere.

I informed my kids about my commitment to creating sacred silence each morning. I explained how I will light a candle as I enter this space, and if they see me sitting in silence with a lit candle at my side, they should respect the silence and leave me be.  Of course, there are exceptions such as if they are on fire or bleeding, and only if Dad's not home.

This was put to the test yesterday. Just after 6am, I was about halfway through my mandala when Will came downstairs.  I could see in my peripheral vision that he entered the kitchen. He glanced my way and then settled in to work on the puzzle. I resisted the urge to even say 'good morning'. In the next 15 minutes as I continued to pray, focus on the mandala and attempt to vacate my busy mind, Will was getting antsy. He stood up from the puzzle table, glance my way with a huge sigh, then slumped into a chair in the kitchen, directly in my line of sight. I focused on my breath prayer and repeated, "Lord Jesus Christ, dwell within me."

Will grew even more restless. Stood up, with a bit more sound and stomping than necessary, glanced my way (even in my peripheral vision I saw the eye roll), gave a huge sigh, and sat back down. I was secretly enjoying this sparring, but I made quicker strokes with my pencil and completed the mandala and prayers. I blew out the candle and simultaneously heard Will, "Finally! You said your goal is 10 minutes. Not 45!"

I thanked Will for honoring my sacred space, and quietly thanked the flame for announcing this time apart.